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Starbucks Workers Unprepared For Unicorn Frappuccino Armageddon

Yesterday Starbucks employees across the country were ravaged by stampeding hordes eager to get their mouths on the new Unicorn Frappuccino. Today the Starbucks Reddit is filled with their tales of courage and survival. Advertisement I got to try out the strange, limited-edition sour mango concoction prior to yesterday’s wide release courtesy of my wife, who has somehow managed to work for Starbucks for more than a decade without stabbing anyone in the neck when they ask for a large half-caf soy latte with extra foam (which might not be a real thing.) Halfway through her shift yesterday she called home to mumble something it about being the “worst day ever.” She also said something about “fucking unicorns.” Pretty sure she was referring to the drink and not the act. Her store closes at 8PM and she’s usually home by 8:45. Last night she stumbled in at 10PM with slightly purple fingers and a glassy look in her eye. It was the Unicorn Frappuccino onslaught that done it. At around closing time a woman walked up to the counter and ordered three of the drinks. The customer behind her ordered one. Then the woman who had ordered three came back…